The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Found your dick twin last night
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
