New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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