Can i not drive my cunt home
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize