; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize