She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
