Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
