yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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