apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
