It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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