I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
