that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize