He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
