The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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