We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
