Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize