I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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