WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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