I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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