honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
