I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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