I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
