I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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