U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They took my balls.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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