This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize