I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
