I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
