is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sobbing to NWA
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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