my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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