is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
