My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
