We named our party play list daddy issues
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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