didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
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Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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