Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
