Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
