her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The adults are the big ones right?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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