im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
