2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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