If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
