I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize