did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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