Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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