seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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