I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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