If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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