Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
