Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
