It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
