She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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