We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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