just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
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We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
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I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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