is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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