dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
