I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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